What They Don’t Tell You About Weight Loss, #2 – You Smell Weird

Seriously, what even is that fucking smell?

About three weeks in, I started noticing my natural body odor had changed pretty drastically overnight.  I’m talking a complete 180°.  I’m talking one day I smelled like garlic, and now I smell like a homeless man dumped his life’s savings of 38 pennies into a puddle in the middle of a dead-of-summer rainstorm.

When I wasn’t trying to lose weight, I never really sweat that often.  I am fortunate enough to not be one of those overweight people who just constantly seem to be dumping salty buckets off their skin.  (My sincere condolences to those of you out there who do suffer from that issue.  I truly sympathize. )  On the rare occasion that I did get sweaty, it usually smelled kind of like garlic, onions, and maybe a mild swiss?  I think a lot of people describe their sweat as cheesy….

But, now?  I have a slight odor all the time.

All. The. Time.

I constantly smell like metal mixed with some almost-familiar-smelling mystery substance that I can’t put my finger on and I have no clue why.  It makes sense that my body would smell different; after all, my body’s composition is changing.  This was just never a side effect of the lifestyle change that anyone talked about — this came completely unexpectedly.

Like the reasonable-minded woman I am, I consulted the greatest doctor I know to find out why I smelled like a banker’s fleshlight:  Doctor Google.  Apparently, a lot of people experience body odor changes when losing weight.  Unfortunately, all the answers I found didn’t pertain to me.  The only suggestion out there was to drink more water.  I’m drinking a gallon a day, what more do you even want?  If I put any more water into my system than I already do, I’m going to need to carry around a bucket.  Otherwise, it’s probably nothing to worry about and is just an interesting – albeit disgusting – part of watching your body transform.  May as well embrace it.

TL;DR Section for you nerds who want to read a blog without actually reading a blog:

  • I smell like I use a coin-roll as a makeshift dildo.
  • That’s normal, I guess?
  • Drink your water.