Trying to preserve more of my calories for dinner today, as I feel like I’m going to have an almost ravenous hunger spike today. For lunch, I chose one of the lower calorie items from my freezer: Deep Dish Spinach and Mushroom Pizza.
Look, Mom. I did my own photography today.
I thought today, instead of the messy rambling I did last time, that I would set this review up into categories. Maybe that will help break up the terrifying wall of text and you’ll be less scared about reading about my mouth’s emotions. We’ll see; let me know your thoughts.
Once again, Lean Cuisine has done a pretty damn good job at making the food actually look like the picture on the box. This looks like real food and I don’t worry too much about how many machine bowels it’s passed through before ending up in my mouth. It doesn’t look like it was squeezed out of a test tube — that’s a success!
I feel like this really needed some love in the spices department. The flavor was extremely mild. Sure, it’s a vegetarian dish, and spinach and mushrooms have very mild flavors to begin with, but even the sauce lacked a punch. It wasn’t bad, but if the sauce had instead been mixed with a fuckload of garlic and cayenne (I like foods that make my breath so stinky that no one will ever consider kissing me for the rest of my life). If you like foods that are easy on the stomach and don’t taste like much more than a mild cheese, you’ll probably like this. Me, though? I like to eat things that don’t taste like nothing.
This pizza did a lot better in the crust department than the flatbread from last night did. While the crust on the bottom was a bit squishier (likely due to having moisture cooked in from being covered in a heavy amount of sauce), the edge crust surprisingly had a little bit of a crispness to it. The edges are pretty similar in texture to a pizza dough you might make at home.
The pizza took up the majority of my dinner plate, so it’s pretty large. It’s not all that thick despite being deep dish, but it was pretty filling anyway. I had it on it’s own for lunch around noon and didn’t feel hungry again until 6:30 or so.
This weighs in at 350 calories, which isn’t bad. You could have some veggies on the side to round it off closer to 400, which is apparently the recommended meal size. By recommended, I mean dogshit. Do you know how many times I’ve eaten a 400 calorie meal? Like twice. I think one of those times when I was still breastfeeding.
TL;DR Section for you nerds who want to read a blog without actually reading a blog:
- Cooks surprisingly well for bread in a microwave
- Low calorie
- Pretty filling
- Tastes like virtually nothing
FINAL RATING… 5/10
I didn’t have a thrilling experience, but it wasn’t painful. It was just meh. I would probably eat this again because I’m a fat fuck.